Our God is bigger than drug-resistant bacteria : )

     I hate to even say it but if I'm really honest with you, February was a really dark month for me. Our whole family was sick. Join the club, you tell me. And I know that there has been a LOT of sickness this winter, at least in Bánovce and Missoula. From what everyone tells me, and from anecdotal evidence it just seems like the weird weather patterns have lent themselves beautifully (horribly) to hosting a whole lot of unwanted and especially perseverent bacteria in a whole lot of people. I caught a cold in late January that turned into a sinus infection. My second in my whole life. I had been so lackadaisical about treating my cold (a mistake that I will NOT repeat) that it decided to set up camp and stay a while. And when I say a while I mean like a month. Like more than a month. Like I still have the remains of it. And you can bet I fought that thing with a fury. Ever eaten a whole bulb of garlic in one day? (Not clove, bulb)...neti pots, steam baths, essential oils, horseradish, tea tea tea (tea tea tea tea), apple cider vinegar, ginger, no coffee, no dairy, no grains, no white foods. You name it I did it (or didn't). But my point is not to whine, although...ouch!!! My point is this; with that sickness, as well as the long-lastingness of the girls' and Tomáš' came a good deal of fear. I had never had a sickness that extreme for that long. I even ended up needing to go to an ENT, who...ok, I'll spare you the disturbing details. It just seemed like there was not a good option any which way I turned. Antibiotics reported some success but an all-but guaranteed return and endless cycle, not to mention almost certain nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, resistant bacteria and so forth. No antibiotics carried with it the possibility of worse infection and further complications. You all probably know the drill. And after my ENT prescribed the Augmentin, nasal spray, antihistamine and nose antibiotics, I went and spent a bunch of money on them, but was still more torn than ever. I realized later that I would be forced to stop breastfeeding Rosy and I just did not feel good about taking any of these things. All of them carried a hefty list of side-effects. On my way to my second appointment I prayed something like this, "God, if there is any way I can (safely) get out of using the antibiotics, please give me a window.'' And as I sat with the sweet nurse, waiting for the doctor I asked her if people report trouble with Augmentin. ''Yes,'' she said. ''So what do they do?'' ''Stop taking them.'' So I turned to her, ''do you think I can not take them?'' ''Yes,'' she whispered, clearly not wanting to go against doctor's orders, yet wanting to help me. ''I just give my daughter nasal spray and hers get better.''  There was my window. And through an article Tomáš had printed out to read later (a common practice of his), God sent me a reminder, fear has no place in our lives as Christians. This is an almost unfathomable fact, but it is true. And although nothing (much) had changed with my sinus infection, everything changed. I had a greater boldness and more of a peace. I'm not saying I instantly lost all fear, but it came as one more nail in my toolbelt. (haha, is that even a phrase?) A reminder I can go back to and think on. Our God is bigger than any illness (and any drug-resistant bacteria). Put that down to a phrase that's never been said about Him. 

    

 Now moving on from green snot and on to the warm fuzzies  (haha ewwwwww!)    

I cannot tell you what a joy morning sunlight is for me

If you already have insecurities about your big feet, don't let this happen

Play-doh fingernail painting party

Love the close-ups

You wanna piece of me?

Teaching Dedko English

Effortless chic

Valentine's bouquet for daddy (roses and lilies)

which promptly ended up like this

I'm happening upon this more and more often

For Susan and Erin

Caroline Kennedy funeral coat

Ok, I've seriously gotta get on the sewing machine!

Little handmade Nordic cap I scored at Humana

...along with these beauties. (still tied together!) 

The hiding place

My dancing queens

Here's to your fearless week!

Tidbits

     A little while ago  Tomáš went to the director of Lily's pre-school to ask for an application for Rosy. As you might imagine, I had one of those ''but she's still a baby'' moments. But really she will be almost three. Tomáš had to run an errand this morning so I took Lily to pre-school and had Rosy with me. When her teacher opened the door, Rosy went running in and joined all the kids and didn't want to leave. Although the thought of putting her in pre-school hurts my heart a little, it does my heart so good to see her liking it there. Before we were even sure we wanted to put Lily in pre-school, we ran into a class outside one day that was out for a walk, and Lily jumped in line with the other kids and refused to leave, much to the teachers' great amusement. That was when I knew she'd be all right there. Turns out all right was a gross understatement. She ab-solute-ly loves it there. Every weekend day and holiday is like torture to her. She keeps asking how long 'til she gets to go back to škôlka. Other mommies tell me I have a lot to be thankful for in that, and I know I do. I've heard many stories of morning after morning after morning kicking and screaming fits of ''don't make me go''s.  

Barbie needed a quick dress

     Lily got the above Barbie from her cousin. She absolutely loved her. She played with her so much she all-but destroyed her hair, tore her dress and lost a shoe (or two). But one evening we went to visit some friends who have a girl Rosy's age and as we were leaving Lily grabbed her blonde Barbie and said she was going to give it to Kamilka. I thought she might change her mind but sure enough she brought her to her in all her naked glory (Barbie's, not Kamilka's :) and gave her to her. I was so proud. Our girl is a giver and it makes me so happy. She's always wanting to bring gifts to whomever we're going to see and I love her for it.

 
      Last spring we were at our local community sandbox and I said something to Lily in English. This is usually met with anything from a quick glance to an outright stare, but instead the woman sitting on the edge asked where I was from. We started chatting and it turned out she had just moved back to Slovakia after having worked in England for five years. They were new in town and didn't know anyone. And it just so happened that they were living in our building. Then we discovered that we even shared an entrance. She invited Rosy and me over for coffee one day (ok, me for coffee, Rosy for Nilla Wafers; ), then we returned the invitation. And that's how it's been for the last nine months or so. One or the other of us will send an SMS in the morning asking if the other wants to ''pop in'' for coffee, as she says. And we usually do. They have a son a little younger than Rosy, so it works out perfectly. She was the Rhoda to my Mary. Or the Mary to my Rhoda. But they got word yesterday that the owner of their flat sold it and they have to move in March. I'm so sad. I know we'll still visit each other, but it will never be the same. (Read: I won't be able to visit her in my sweats and slippers, and I won't get any more of those ''I'm running to the store, do you need anything?'' texts). For a period of time in my single days, I lived in one apartment building with: two cousins, a brother and four friends. We all had our own apartments, but would drop by each others' places frequently. It was awesome. We had our own sitcom. It was like Seinfeld but was called Schliebe. Ok, ok not really. But we totally could have.  

In her going-home-from-the-hospital snowsuit

Sweet Lily

     Believe it or not I had forgotten about the Terrible Twos. It's kind of like birth pains. You go through this excruciating pain and immediately forget about it when you see your sweet angel's face (return). But right now we're in the throes. With Lily it was hard, because she is fiercely independent, smart and stubborn. Or at least I thought she was (stubborn)...until I met Rosy. Rosy is independent in the typical ''do it myself'' way that toddlers are, but she's also a mama's girl and wants to be around me at all times. This makes it very difficult to grab a piece of sanity when she's around all. the. time, and every little thing I do sends her into wailing tantrum mode. She's smart too. But I think she's even more stubborn than Lily, and that's saying something. I plan on expanding on this subject in a future post. 

Somebodies got into the markers

Mama, we're just having ''karneval''

Me: Who gave Itty ''pichliačiky?'' (thistles = little pokies = whiskers) Lily: They're not pichliačiky, she's just wearing a cat costume. 

     Just now Lily came up and stood beside me and started saying something. I strained to make out just what it was when I realized she, in a perfect Indian accent, was recounting one of these god-awful Youtube videos where all they do is open toys and Kinder Surprise eggs and the like. I hate these videos with a passion, but was highly entertained and once again amazed at her uncanny ability to imitate accents. Sometimes she'll tell me that she's speaking Spanish and I'll be darned if she doesn't roll her Rs hard and produce  a perfectly believable Spanish-sounding-speak.

''Elsa and Anna''

     The girls brought their ceramic tea set into the living room and I told them to bring it back into the bedroom on the carpet so it wouldn't break. Lily started in with ''but, but...'' I said ''no buts, just go back in there...'' to which Rosy replied, ''yes bác! bum bác!'' (0:21).

Lily learned about antibiotics from the Berenstain Bears. The other day she brought me a spoonful of ''the sticky pink stuff''

The New Year

     I don't know why it's taken me 11 days to write this post. I guess I wanted to write something more than ''here are some pictures from our life of late.'' Not that there's anything wrong with those posts. They're probably the ones you like most of all. To be honest, I thought very little about the upcoming new year when it was approaching. Usually I have at least some kind of goal, usually geared towards better health, but I think twenty-some years of that with very little to show for it renders a person fairly disillusioned. But that's neither here nor there. I will continue to trudge along in my ''personal health and wellness journey,'' as goes the popular phraseology, official resolution or not. I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling that there are so many things wrong with me (I mean character flaws) that I don't even know where to begin. Having kids has made me constantly aware of my shortcomings and ugly sides. Some maintain that that's what they're there for. Marriage too. It reveals and magnifies our ugly, so God can get to work turning it into something beautiful. Or, at least, reducing its magnified state. Sanding off the roughness, refining out the impurities. I sincerely hope this is true. My friend told me this week that our changes come like as a plant grows. We were talking then about taking things personally. She says this is egocentrism. And that the change is already happening when we realize we have this problem. When we stare at the plant and hope to see it grow, we see nothing. But when we forget about watching it and trust that it's gonna grow, then we will see how it's grown over a period of time. I sincerely hope this is true as well. But if it is, mine is one s-l-o-o-o-w-growing plant. Around new year's 2014 I was praying for my friend who was visiting us, praying for healing for all she'd been through and I really felt like when I said the word ''healing'' God highlighted it for me in that God-way that He sometimes does. I wrote a little bit about it here. I really believed that 2014 was gonna be my year of healing. I just knew I was gonna get my memory back, my concentration and clear-thinking, organizational skills, my relationships were gonna be restored, my marriage improved, my hair would stop falling out, I would be restored to spiritual health...and for whatever reason it just seems like none of that happened. None of it. There were maybe some baby steps toward healing, but I can't speak of much health in any area of my life right now. Please understand, I don't say that in a snide, thankless way. I have plenty to be thankful for. Plenty. But in many ways it just left me feeling confused more than anything else. I believe God's word when it says this: ''As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.'' (Isaiah 55:10,11) I truly believe that God gave me that word, healing. Sent it. Now I'm just waiting for it to achieve its purpose. Trying to trust. But maybe I'm much too anxious for the budding and the flourishing to let the watering happen. Staring at the plant, willing it to grow. Or maybe, and this is the hardest thought, maybe its purpose will look nothing like the purpose I am waiting for. And my throat catches as I type those words. Because although I know in the depths of me that I can trust God's desires and His purposes (even desire them above my own), letting go of mine shakes me to the core. 

     We had a really nice new year's. At least I did. Our living room window overlooks a large courtyard and there were lots of groups of people lighting off fireworks, making for a fantastic display for us. Definitely the best year since I've lived here. And both of the girls slept soundly through them, which also helped. Plus we watched a documentary that I thoroughly enjoyed, called Searching for Sugar Man. We then went on to go on our favorite visit of the year. Then we got our snow. Lovely, wonderful, perfectly fluffy, snowball-fighting and angel-making snow. And at the risk of trying to stretch a metaphor too far, I'm going to try and enjoy the watering. Wait patiently for the flourishing. Or, more accurately, enjoy the flourishing that is already here.      

Lighting up the night

Janka and Luci showing Tomáš their spreadsheet for counting their animal figurines

''Please just photograph my hands.'' 

Three tutus and a scarf

Hate the garbage, love the duckies

As Rosy says, ''looking at snowflakes.'' 

I could live in those cheeks

Totally staged kitchen scene to show off my lovely (albeit un-ironed) 50c linen tablecloth

Naked avocado eating

I made the girls these wooden spoon dolls for Christmas and yesterday I awoke to find this (below). Be still, my heart. I could have burst.

Happy 2015!!!