21 Hours

     Last week we had the good pleasure of having two weary travelers crash on our couch for all of about three hours. It wouldn't have been a Scott Barnett visit if anyone had gotten any more sleep than that. Scott and Anna took a weekend trip to Budapest and on their way back to Krakow, swung by our place to say cześć! We chatted over homemade (vegetarian) pizza and Vinea, then worked our way into the living room over ice cream bars, and after flexing our deep spiritual discussion muscles for way too many hours, finally ended the night with loopy, loopy laughter and a little (award-winning) wine. Our girls fell in love with them (and their phones/sunglasses/jewelry) and I think it's pretty safe to say they took a pretty good shining to our girls too. We got to have lunch together at a traditional Slovak food restaurant and rounded out our 21 hours by Scott joining me for an English conversation lesson in which he stole the show with his Hunger Games knowledge. Their visit was far too short, but also very sweet. Miss you guys.  


 



Lily and Anna's necklace, which weighs about as much as she does





Halušky and Kofola. Tak to má byt'!



Mother's Day/Mothers Day/Mothers' Day?

     They say you can never fully appreciate what your parents have done for you until you yourself become a parent. This has been true for me. And I even appreciated what my mom did for me. But now I appreciate it even more. Given my last post, I might sound like I'm complaining about motherhood. I don't mean that at all. I'm truly thankful for my newfound appreciation for my mom. And it's not just knowing that she roamed the floors at 2 a.m. with us when we wouldn't sleep. I see my own struggles and shortcomings and remember how she handled things with such grace sometimes. If there's one word I think most describes my mom, it's selfless. Or self-sacrificing. I am working on attaining this virtue, but I am far from it.  

     I have a good friend who married a guy half a world away from her, and made the tough decision to leave her home and live in his. (Sounds familiar : ) It was already hard enough for her to leave her family and her world, but she told me that for months before she left, her mom kept begging her not to leave and telling her how hard it was going to be on her. It wasn't until then that I fully appreciated how my mom had let me go when I moved to Slovakia. Only then did I realize how selfless her love was for me when she never once asked me not to go. And that's not to say it wasn't heartbreakingly hard for her to let me go.* Her only daughter. That's what's so incredible. I would wager to say it was probably the hardest thing she's even done and yet, showing true unconditional love, she loosed her hands and her heart and let me go. And if that wasn't hard enough, then we had babies. Her only grandbabies. And when they were born, not a prouder grandma have you ever seen. She loves those babies like they lived next door to her. And of course she tells us she misses us (desperately) and of course she wishes we were there, but in the end she wants what is best for all of us and lovingly releases that decision to me. And even as I write this, I realize that she will probably be uncomfortable with this post. But that just proves my point, because true love doesn't seek accolades. And my intention is not to give her a pat on the back. I just want to say thank you, mom, for loving me. For loving us. Thank you for your example. Because I'm pretty sure if the roles were reversed, I would act much more like my friend's mom. And I don't say that with judgement. It's natural to want to hold on to those you love. But it's supernatural to let them go. I hope someday very soon you will get to meet Rosy and see Lily (and us) again. In the meantime, here is the next best gift I can give to you. Happy Mother's Day, mom. We love you.    

Demonstrating the effects of sun damage on skin. Wear your sunscreen, kids!

My little sprite. Flitting around, singing along to the songs 



Mother Teresa photo shoot



She asked to put on my sports bra so she could exercise to the lady on tv, but apparently found Ernie more appealing. I don't blame her.





Out for a walk in the sun



Sisters



''This is a five.''



Learning to sit





My favorite new picture








My mom's magnolia tree in bloom



*My mom wasn't the only one to ''lose'' a loved one when I left. I don't want to downplay by any means my brothers' or my dad's loss. Or my own, for that matter. I just wanted to thank her because it's Mother's Day. We miss all of you more than you could know.   

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

     Friends, there's something working against me getting any sleep at all and I have to laugh about it, otherwise I'd cry, and I have. Oh, I have. I've cried, I've cussed, I've beat the downy pulp out of my pillow, leaving the lamp swinging from the ceiling when a concerned Tomáš came in to check on me. If you've never not slept for six months you cannot understand. But if you are a mom, you do. Truth is, I haven't done a whole lot of laughing about it. I've been pretty very whiny, actually. But man (oh, man) am I tired. Evidence of that is the fact that I just typed tured, which is actually closer to the truth when you say it out loud. My-an, emm ah tured. Rosy has inexplicably switched her nighttime sleeping routine to daytime. Much like her newborn days, she sleeps a lot during the day and parties all night. Lily, on the other hand, sleeps beautifully all night long, and in exchange is, of course, up all day except for her nap, if she naps. This is, as you might imagine, the exact time that Rosy tends to be up. Here were my last 24 hours:
4:43 a.m. Rosy wakes to greet the day. Poopy. Change her, feed her, try to lay her back down. She cough-cries loudly her malcontent, meaning I have to get her out of that crib to some new real estate and fast otherwise the whole neighborhood will be woken. Ok, that was an exaggeration, but Lily and Tomáš certainly.
6:30 Lily wakes, needs to be changed, dressed and fed ASAP. Meanwhile I'm trying to load the dishwasher and do a load of laundry, both of which also need to be done ASAP. By the time I'm in the thick of all of these things, Rosy is screamin' ready for a nap. It's about 7 a.m.
7:00 Feed Rosy, walk her to sleep. Watch Lily and do housework til Rosy wakes. Repeat cycle.
1:15 p.m. Get Rosy to sleep just in time for Lily's nap. A miracle. Lay down with Lily until she falls asleep, preventing imminent pants and diaper removal, resulting in not falling asleep. Lily sleeps. Another miracle. All I want to do in the whole entire world is have a cup of coffee and read a little something but I opt to sleep instead. I lay down and just as I start to doze off, the wind blows something outside and I wake up. And again. I go and close the balcony door and try again to sleep. I get no sleep. Rosy wakes.
2:30 p.m. Run defense, trying to keep Rosy quiet so Lily doesn't wake. Lately she won't stand to be anywhere but in someone's arms pretty much so I hold her the remainder of Lily's nap.
4:30 Lily wakes. Repeat morning cycle until Rosy is ready for her last nap.
6:15 Tomáš comes home, I fly out the door for a quick run. Come back, baths, bottle, breastfeeding, bed.
8:30 Watch American Idol. Eat dinner.
9:40 Go to bed, waking Rosy in the process. Feed her.
10-1:50 a.m. Interrupted sleep when she rolls over onto her tummy or loses her pacifier and then fusses.
1:50 Feed her
2:10 a.m. Go to the living room to try and sleep as she makes little noises. Notice that Tomáš is not in his bed. He's on the floor in Lily's room. She sneezes. I go to cover her with a blanket and she starts crying to get up. Her pacifier is out of her crib and (I'm not making this up) she insists on picking it up with her feet, ''Lily do it!!!'' Try to meet her every desire just to get her to sleep again. Discover she's poopy. Change diaper. Go to sleep on couch. Sleep til 4 something when Rosy wakes and rolls around, making happy noises. Poops. Start cycle over again.
     I admit Tomáš does a lot to try and help me. He doesn't complain when at six I go and plop Rosy next to him in bed (for the time being he sleeps in the room next door so at least one of us can function). On the weekends he gets up with Lily and gives her breakfast. The problem is, though, that he does not have lactating boobs. Wait, ok so that is not a problem. I try to be careful what I wish for. But I will jump for joy the day that I get eight consecutive hours of sleep. Or six. Or five. Oh, who am I trying to kid? Even four. With that said, there is a snoring Tomáš next to me on the couch right now, remote control on his chest. You know he is sleeping when a movie with talking dogs is being allowed to play on TV. We should both probably call it a night. 

Happy half year, little lady.


Ta Da!



Flappin' her wings



Oh, daddy!



Tiiiimberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Night night. 

Blonde Man, part deux

     So, remember this? I went to get Lily dressed to go out today and found this in her room:

That's Blonde Man relaxing in a lawn chair by the pool. Wait, no it's not, it's Blonde Man doing a backwards push-up in the handle of my pump! And somewhere along the line Lily learned (not from me) to call it a boob pump. Except that she sometimes mixes up words so she sometimes calls it a boob pumpkin. ''Where is mama's boob pumpkin?'' [imitating pumping action all the way down by her waist...sigh]. Likewise with magazine and magnet, motorka (motor bike) and doktorka (lady doctor) and papriky (peppers) and papieriky (papers).  So some of her questions can be quite confusing, as you might imagine. Makes me feel better about learning a foreign language, though.
     For the past week or so she has been much more emotional. Her meltdowns are no longer meltdowns, but atomic powerstation meltdowns. I get paranoid of what the neighbors think I'm doing to her and I also get paranoid that she yells because sometimes I yell and she hits because sometimes I hit (swat on the still-diapered bottom). But I'm just hoping that most people have been there and, more importantly, they remember. Tomáš' mom tells me that her boys never acted like that. Someone please tell me that all kids act like that. It's a sight to behold. On the bright side, though, Lily has also become much more emotional in a good way. She says I love you all the time now. And she hugs. The sweetest little hugs you've ever felt. And best of all, she calls for family hugs. All four of us. And that, that my friends, causes me to melt down.

Those shoulders!

     Now, I do a lot of thinking. And this week I had this startling awakening as to just how vulnerable and susceptible and impressionable our kids are. It's a scary feeling. We have a tendency to try to control what influences our kids and to protect and shelter them, and that is a good thing. We would be terribly remiss if we didn't do so. And I had been keenly aware of my own shortcomings and not wanting to pass them on to my kids, but I just kind of realized how powerless I am to control others' influence. We're all human and therefore all have less-than-optimal characteristics, and unfortunately our little sponges soak those things up just like they do all of the good things. I tend to err more on the side of overprotection, sheltering and the my-kid-will-live-in-a-bubble-til-they're-married approach, but Tomáš is much more of a realist and balances me out in a good way. He told me that this is life, and I guess he's right. I didn't like hearing that very much, but then he told me not to worry, that he and I would have a much bigger influence on our girls than others. That made me feel better. A little. But truly it all just comes down to trust. Do I trust the only One who can protect them even when I can't and loves them endlessly more than I ever could? And I'm trying to learn to do just that.



All I see is Tomáš



 Having halušky.



     We had to take a trip to Trenčín to do some paperwork for my permanent residency and when we came home I looked in the living room and saw this. It's so funny to see her in someone else's arms. It doesn't happen very often. But it's sweetly surprising when it does.

And this little muffin turned the big five months today! Little Rosy, we couldn't imagine life without you now.

Quote, Unquote

I got a package from the tallest man on earth. Actually, I got a package from The Tallest Man on Earth. And I'm seeing just a weee little bit of green that he's going to play in Missoula at the Wilma Theater next month. You lucky ducks.

But the real point of this post is just to make you smile, which I hope to achieve with a couple quotes and the following picture.

Lily: What's this?

Me: A TV screen

Lily: What's this?

Me: A computer screen.

Lily: Where are you, ice cream?

Lily (Regarding some black licorice): Please, another ''last one.''

Lily (Looking at a book about a bunny by a swamp): What's this?

Me: A lily.

Lily: What's this?

Me: A water lily.

Lily: What's this?

Me: A lily pad.

Lily: And this (is) a mama's pad.

Lily: Kol'ko je hodín?

Ja: Osem.

Lily: Kol'ko je minút?

One student of mine: I like tattoos, just not on my body.

Tomáš (watching Project Runway where a group of designers all very ''kindly'' said that one designer should go home): They didn't throw her under the bus, they caressed her under the bus. [Imitates slow-motion, big-smiled gentle pushing, then kicking under aforementioned bus].

And my favorite:

Tomáš (Watching Project Runway [again] with Bette Midler): Alf's father...did he act in anything else?...(laughter)...Ok, adopted father...you know, the guy in the glasses, did you ever hear about him?...(laughter)...is he alive?...Poor guy! He must be like 80! : ) : ) : )

And later that evening, out of nowhere

Tomáš: What is Michael Jordan doing?

Hope these brought a smile to your face like they did mine. But I really wrote this post just so I could bring you this picture...



Flock of Seagulls ain't got nothin' on her. (To achieve this look, just add goulash).



Easter, etc.

  Is there anything better than the look on a little kid's face when they find an Easter egg? Not a whole lot, I tells ya.

     Easter was a strange one this year. I had hoped to make it to church on Sunday, but with daylight savings and general overall exhaustion, it was all I could do to get Lily out the door so she could go with Daddy to church. I didn't cook. We scrounged for meals. By the time we thought about buying groceries for an Easter dinner we realized the stores would be closed. None of us had any cleaning motivation, and it seemed somehow wrong to clean house on Easter anyhow. The Jehovah's Witnesses came. Lily didn't sleep. Not because the Jehovah's Witnesses came. At least I don't think. The day plodded along like trying to push a JELL-O wall up a hill. It was really sweet watching Lily hunt for eggs, though. And then there was Easter Monday. Both girls slept longer than usual so I was able to (gasp!) get a little exercise in and (gasp! again!) shower! We had planned to go to the in-laws' for a traditional Easter lunch, and after getting our brood aaall ready to go, the car wouldn't start. I broke down and vacuumed because instead of dust (Easter) bunnies, we had dust rhinoceroses. That's not exactly true, but it was time to vacuum. Dedko delivered our lunch on bicycle, the little sweetie. Lily, again, didn't nap.  In the middle of lunch, Tomáš exclaimed something along the lines of, ''What a weeeeeird day!'' And I agreed. It was just one of those days where nothing felt normal. In the afternoon he went to his friend's to make hot and sour soup and took Lily with him, which added to the weirdness in that I had a long period of peace and quiet. Rosy returned to her former chill-easy babyness after a week and a half of crying a lot, fighting naps and waking every hour at night. Our friend, Doctor, came for a visit. And maybe for the first time since I've known him, we got to sit down and have a really nice conversation just the two of us. Well, Rosy napped peacefully beside us. It was really nice. He left here, and on his way to meet Tomáš (about one minute's walk from us) a man jumped out of a fourth-story window right in front of him. He, being a doctor, rushed to help him and thankfully he was ok. Some mental issues, I guess. Luckily I got to Skype with my cousin and mom, otherwise the oddness might have been a bit too disconcerting. But somehow, like Tomáš' soup, it was a kind of a nice combination of unlikely ingredients. Except for the window jumper, of course.   

Here's what our Easter weather looked like

And in food news, I had been wanting to make yogurt for a really long time and finally did it! We eat a lot of it around our house, but it's spendy, it's wasteful with all those plastic cups, and I don't like the extra crap they put in even the high quality store-bought kind. Some have regulators and emulsifiers and starch, and all have at least twice as much syrup as I'd like. So, one clever student of mine who is a big inspiration for me in that she gardens, she cans, she bakes all her own bread and rolls, cooks everything from scratch, buys meat from a local farmer (and most recently even made her own lunchmeat!), and yes, makes her own yogurt, told me how. 

I made up a simple chocolate syrup of cocoa powder, a little sugar and water.

It was delicious and so satisfying. I can't wait to try ground nuts, homemade jam, fresh fruit, honey or nothing at all in it!
It's too labor-intensive for me to keep up with all the time (mostly just going to get the milk), but since it comes out to less than half the price and is so much healthier, I'm hoping to make it often.  

And then there was this delicious victory. I had purchased a giant bag of discount spinach (that sounds worse than it was..it was just a little beat up) and I have a bad habit of letting stuff like that go to waste so I made this salad with a simple vinaigrette, cucumbers, tomatoes and Greek cheese. Too vinegary for T, but I loved it.



And the rest of it went to our meatless Good Friday meal...spinach pizza. (No one has ever accused us of being traditional).

 And, as usual, here are some catch-up pics from the last little while...

Shootin' the breeze

  Readin'

 Collectin'

Snoozin'

 Watchin'


The skaters are out

Flyin'. Birds in a bush

 Smilin'

Love her Chiclet teeth

  Pausin'

Out for a walk with Ellie

 Lollipoppin'

Moments before she turned around and ran right into that pub

I think she's visited just about every stoop in the 'hood.

Contemplatin'

 I was in the kitchen and Lily goes, ''there's a foot!'' and I came to have a look at...this.


Ew.

 I canNOT wait for spring. Sorry for the randomness of this post, it must be the spring fever has gone to my brain.