Sister love

     When I thought about bringing Rosy home, I didn't know what to expect. Lily is only 25 months old, so I had hoped that jealousy wouldn't be such a big issue, and so far it hasn't been. She is well into her terrible twos, which for us means that her favorite word is no (her second being nie in Slovak), she shrieks quite a bit and definitely runs from anything we want her to do, whether fun or not fun, hiding in corners until we physically pick her up, at which time she shrieks ''no'' or ''nie'' repeatedly. She is asserting her independence, certainly, but thankfully it seems to be separate from her relationship with Rosy. What I mean by that is, she doesn't seem to attribute her no longer being the center of our world to the arrival of one soft, squishy, pink, mostly-sleeping-but-occasionally-crying little bundle. I had visions of her, when she didn't get her way, running up and shoving or hitting Rosy, and that's not to say it won't happen, but so far all we've seen is nothing but sister love. Every morning she runs into our room, excitedly looking for ''whoa-zee,'' and squeals with delight every time she sees her. Whenever she catches sight of her throughout the day, she points at her and says ''Rosy is here,'' beaming. When Rosy cries, she tries to give her her pacifier or she tells me that she's crying etc. In other words, Lily has become a big sister overnight. Tomáš' boss has two daughters and she told him that when the younger one arrived, the older one was instantly 18. I can see what she means. They suddenly seem so big and so old, and they are filled with a sense of protectiveness and pride.
     When Rosy was born, Tomáš was able to take three weeks off of work, so for the five days I was in the hospital, he was home taking care of Lily, and for the remaining time we were all home together. It was wonderful. I feel so, so blessed to have had that time together, not to mention his help during the (beginning of) the transitional period. I'm not going to pretend our life is not a circus right now, what with Hurricane Lily swirling through our flat, doing her utmost to defeat order of any kind, but let's be honest, with Lily, every day is a bit of a circus. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.    
     All of Lily's life I suspected that I would come to appreciate her fierce independence if and when we were to have another baby. And that has definitely been the case. This week since Tomáš has been back at work, she has just been playing on her own, looking at books, feeding her (stuffed) dog, talking on her phone (read comb), changing her footwear regularly and looking out the window at the snow. She has an ongoing dialogue with herself in which she mentions something and then answers herself back with an affirmation. Cutest. Thing. Ever.
     So for the rare times I have to let Rosy cry while I finish up whatever it is I'm doing, I can be thankful for all the times I manage things just fine. I have an ongoing dialogue with myself of all that I have to be thankful for. When I feel grumpy with Rosy's cluster feedings, I remind myself how endlessly thankful I am that I can breastfeed. And that she has a good appetite. Or when I feel frustrated when Rosy wakes every hour at night, I remind myself that she sleeps all day long (contributing greatly to the ease with which I am managing everything now). And a big one, when I wish I could go somewhere, I think of how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my girls. The list goes on and on. So, when I say I didn't know what to expect in bringing Rosy home, I can add that I never could have expected it to go this well. So far she is very much living up to her name.