sLOVEnka: Blonde Man, part deux

So, remember this? I went to get Lily dressed to go out today and found this in her room:

That's Blonde Man relaxing in a lawn chair by the pool. Wait, no it's not, it's Blonde Man doing a backwards push-up in the handle of my pump! And somewhere along the line Lily learned (not from me) to call it a boob pump. Except that she sometimes mixes up words so she sometimes calls it a boob pumpkin. ''Where is mama's boob pumpkin?'' [imitating pumping action all the way down by her waist...sigh]. Likewise with magazine and magnet, motorka (motor bike) and doktorka (lady doctor) and papriky (peppers) and papieriky (papers). So some of her questions can be quite confusing, as you might imagine. Makes me feel better about learning a foreign language, though.
For the past week or so she has been much more emotional. Her meltdowns are no longer meltdowns, but atomic powerstation meltdowns. I get paranoid of what the neighbors think I'm doing to her and I also get paranoid that she yells because sometimes I yell and she hits because sometimes I hit (swat on the still-diapered bottom). But I'm just hoping that most people have been there and, more importantly, they remember. Tomáš' mom tells me that her boys never acted like that. Someone please tell me that all kids act like that. It's a sight to behold. On the bright side, though, Lily has also become much more emotional in a good way. She says I love you all the time now. And she hugs. The sweetest little hugs you've ever felt. And best of all, she calls for family hugs. All four of us. And that, that my friends, causes me to melt down.

Those shoulders!

Now, I do a lot of thinking. And this week I had this startling awakening as to just how vulnerable and susceptible and impressionable our kids are. It's a scary feeling. We have a tendency to try to control what influences our kids and to protect and shelter them, and that is a good thing. We would be terribly remiss if we didn't do so. And I had been keenly aware of my own shortcomings and not wanting to pass them on to my kids, but I just kind of realized how powerless I am to control others' influence. We're all human and therefore all have less-than-optimal characteristics, and unfortunately our little sponges soak those things up just like they do all of the good things. I tend to err more on the side of overprotection, sheltering and the my-kid-will-live-in-a-bubble-til-they're-married approach, but Tomáš is much more of a realist and balances me out in a good way. He told me that this is life, and I guess he's right. I didn't like hearing that very much, but then he told me not to worry, that he and I would have a much bigger influence on our girls than others. That made me feel better. A little. But truly it all just comes down to trust. Do I trust the only One who can protect them even when I can't and loves them endlessly more than I ever could? And I'm trying to learn to do just that.

All I see is Tomáš

Having halušky.

We had to take a trip to Trenčín to do some paperwork for my permanent residency and when we came home I looked in the living room and saw this. It's so funny to see her in someone else's arms. It doesn't happen very often. But it's sweetly surprising when it does.