Saturday, February 2, 2013

One Thousand Gifts

     This winter we've spent a lot of time indoors. Part of that is due to the grey, drizzly, ugly weather, but part of it is due to just plain laziness on my part. It is so much work to get everyone bundled up, having full bellies and dry diapers all at the same time, in a window of time that doesn't overlap naps or students or anything else that might be happening that day. But even moreso than all that is the daunting idea of walking with a toddler on foot and a two month old in the stroller when I know how much work it is just walking with Lily alone. Especially in melty slushy dirty snowy slop.
     All that is to say that while indoors I have been reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, and one of the bases of the book is Romans 8:28 that all things work together for the good to those who love God. And in thinking about this verse, I've realized that I always just thought this verse to mean that God uses the bad things that happen to us to form us in some way. To make us more patient, more giving, more good.  But in the book, she asserts that even the (seemingly) bad things are also gifts from God and that in being thankful for even (and especially) them, we will be blessed and find joy and find God. For me this was a revolutionary idea and I was excited to try to start thinking in that way. The whole book is about how she, by counting, writing down gifts (anywhere from shredded cheese to the wonder of dish suds to the freckles on her kids' noses) as an act of thankfulness to God, came to realize His love for her and live a truly full life full of joy. And as I read her book, I keep coming back to the idea of thanking God for the ''bad things.'' And I'm not even talking about big bad things, but trivial, day to day annoyances. These are the things I'm wrestling with right now, this cooped-up wintertime now.
     And this morning it all kind of snapped. I came around the corner into the living room to find that Lily had yet again unloaded the bulk of our books from the bookcase onto the computer desk in a none-too-gentle or tidy manner. And then as I washed dishes and cleaned off the kitchen counter, I began to become increasingly annoyed at the constant, constant mess that results from a curious and creative mind and a busy little body. Then I was sitting on the couch, reading snatches of the book between diaper changes and feedings, cup of coffee and water behind me and Lily came and went to perform a balancing act, walking from one side of our L-shaped couch to the other. I foresaw the imminent spillage, and so moved my beverages into the corner of the wall, and moved so she could more safely go across the couch. But she swerved and went behind me, falling directly into both cups, splashing the brown beverage up the peach wall and completely soaking our virtually immovable couch. I raised my voice at her and said some ridiculous things about it being her fault and, equally ridiculously, I clapped my hands as hard as I could, which is how I usually release my frustration and angry energy. Then after the symbolical cleanup (what can you really do?), I started to once again think about that verse in Romans. ''God,'' I said, ''I don't seem to be getting any more patient. Please show me what You want me to see.'' And I looked over at the pile of books and got up to put them back into the bookcase, and in so doing, saw a book of daily devotions. I opened it up to February 2nd and sat down to read. At the top was Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven, which already amazed me because I had just been thinking about seasons. It talked about how each season has its own unique beauty and how winter sometimes brings hardship, but we remain hopeful, because another spring is just around the corner. And then I read these words; There will be times when He asks us to remain faithful doing the same work day after day. But there will also be periods of excitement and new beginnings. And when I read that I could not contain my tears. I covered my face with my hands and just let it out. (Which, incidentally, made Lily think I was playing peek-a-boo, and asked repeatedly ''kde je mama?'' And I cried and I laughed and it was wonderful and refreshing like a spring rain). That was why God had allowed Lily to make that mess. So I would find that book and read that passage. That was Him working all things for my good. Communicating His love for me. This week my heart had been crying for spring. And this year my heart has been crying for excitement and new beginnings. And those were the words my soul had been longing to hear. And I can write it down in my own list of God's gifts of love to me. As for the coffee/water spill? That is a subject for a whole other post (it was a big morning).
     Have any of you read that book? What are your thoughts? Have you had any big revelations? I'd love to hear what you think.
And here, a few more gifts...
This girl will make a microphone out of anything

Mr.Monkey had to have a bath, and dried off in the radiator
 So....remember this? When I put this onesie on Rosy and we woke up to sunshine, I knew it was time for a photo shoot.

For Glenna

Sister loves her sun. Me too.




What do you think, ballet flats?
or boots?
I see her in a 1960s surfer flick with a stack of 45s, lamenting lost love


Bright eyes
Oh, how I wish this would happen more often. Lily is still so seldom...
 Thanks for reading!


2 comments:

  1. Needed to read that. Our pastor is also doing a series on Giving Thanks to God and he cited Ann Voskamp. He challenged us to write down five things a day we are thankful for. So this week, I have realized something. I am really good at writing lists. But not very good at thanking God. I would actually make a list of things I am "thankful" for but realized I hadn't *actually* thanked God. I also realized, that for some ridiculous reason, I have a hard time thanking God. As in, it's actually hard sometimes for me to think of things to thank Him for. RIDICULOUS.

    Let's be on this journey together, ay?

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  2. Absolutely. I've gotten so much out of her book. Complete paradigm shift in so many ways. Would love to chat with you soon : )

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